How to be happy regardless of your circumstances

3 simple, practical and effective tips

Happiness is that elusive emotion and condition we all pursue. Yet, it’s always within our reach, regardless of our current circumstances.

You have heard many a wise man say happiness is a choice. But the question is how does one choose happiness?

I provide three practical ideas you can start applying immediately. Cheers to your happiness, my friend!

The key to many blessings

To quote Shakespeare, “Oft expectation fails, and most oft there where most it promises…” Little wonder some people consider expectation as the root of all heartache. But what does this mean for you?

Dear friend, we set ourselves up for constant despair when we expect everything. With too many expectations comes too many disappointments. If we don’t curb our expectations, we fall prey to the misery that trails unmet expectations.

Of course, it’s human nature to have expectations (of oneself, others, systems, etc). We have expectations of our parents, friends, partners, colleagues, government, etc. And that’s perfectly normal.

However, we must begin to expect less and less of people and situations we can’t control lest we set ourselves up for heartache. Thankfully, we can do something else instead─something that brings blessings and not curses.

In case you’re wondering, a better alternative to expectation is appreciation. With constant appreciation comes many blessings, and with gratitude comes contented happiness. That’s not all.

Gratitude lets us see how much we already have and enjoy. It helps us appreciate how far we’ve come and who we currently are. Instead of constantly worrying over what could or should be, it focuses on what is.

With gratitude, we substitute anxiety with contentment. With appreciation, we swap disappointment for fulfilment. When we are grateful, the value of life and the privilege of living dawn on us anew.

Besides, thankfulness puts us in a position to receive even more goodness, experience more joy, and relish even greater blessings.

It lets us experience life positively and savour each moment. Whereas with expectations, we scramble through in fervent hope of quick advent or plod through in disappointed despair of prolonged waiting.

So, instead of expecting more love, appreciate the one you already have. Rather than expecting acceptance and validation, be grateful for your achievements.

My friend, for more blessings, expect less and appreciate more.

Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash

Money is good but this is even better

Money is certainly a good way to improve your life. Even the Good Book calls money a defence; It even went as far as saying money answers all things.  Money does matter a lot, no cap.

To paraphrase Philip Amiola, my mentor, whoever says they don’t need money is either sincerely ignorant or deliberately dishonest. But money is just one way to enhance your life, not the only way. What if I told you there are other ways?

James Clear puts it better: Instead of widening your margin of profit, widen your margin of leisure. Instead of optimizing for money, optimize for time. Instead of seeking efficiency, seek recovery.

Let’s take it one after another.

Widen your margin for leisure as you widen your margin for profit. And when you have made enough profits, you should widen your margin for leisure even more.

Enjoy ease and relaxation. See the consummate beauty of the world and partake of the poetic plenty that nature is. Life is always happening; time keeps running and you’re not immortal.

Optimise for more time as you optimise for more money. What wisdom is there in pursuing wealth all your life if you don’t make time to do the things you love? Spend time with those you love and those who matter.

Money comes and goes but those who matter matter still. Money has its place and memories their worth. Time is life. Endeavour to spend more time living—with people and on activities that make you feel alive.

Efficiency is good but recovery is sometimes just better. Is there something you have abandoned or lost that is worthy of being recovered? Perhaps it’s an important relationship or a unique talent?

You know whatever it is that used to make your life more meaningful and enjoyable. Maybe it’s your health or your hearty kindness. Why not seek recovery instead of pursuing an empty efficiency?

How to succeed gradually without losing it all

Some of us make a waste of what we have by thinking too much about what could have been. Yet, there’s no wisdom in agonising over fantasies of what-ifs. The energy is better expended on improving one’s reality.

The temptation is strong to think what if you had gotten that job or are in a romantic relationship with that other person. But succumbing to such impulse only brings torture while also wasting creative mental energy.

Transfer the energy and creativity you would rather commit to building your imagined fantasies had circumstances being different to the more productive thoughts of how to enhance your current situation.

Your pool of creative energy is limited per time. So, you’re better off using it on endeavours that yield actual helpful outcomes. Thinking of what could have been might feel good for a while but it has no concrete value.

Apart from that, the time is better committed elsewhere.  Spend it on your current relationship or job and you would be surprised how better they could get. You will get better so much you won’t have to ponder on what-ifs anymore.

So, focus on enhancing your reality rather than dwelling on what could have been.

In Short…

To choose happiness:

Expect less and appreciate more, slow down to enjoy the good things of life with those you love, and always focus on improving your reality instead of fantasising about what-ifs.

It’s in you. You can do it.